saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
