i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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