i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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