Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
