Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
