No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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