I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
