Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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