i just had sex bonerless
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
