see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
