I looked at my own cervix.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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