im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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