I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
