Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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