It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
