And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
