You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
