Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
