This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
time to smoke my breakfast
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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