Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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