Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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