Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
