just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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