he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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