Cold hands, warm shart.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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