i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
