I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
