If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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