ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
