I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
