Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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