I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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