The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
