yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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