Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
