Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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