Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
