You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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