Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
