If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
