First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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