I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
