somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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