i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
