Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
