I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
