"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
