Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Terrible idea I love it
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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