did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He passed out mid-signature
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
