went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
