Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
